Friday Routines - 3/27 - It must be me!

Well – dare I say...I sit here and think...hmmmm...I can do whatever I want today.  And I just noticed the smell of ripe bananas so my ricotta banana bread could be on the cards.

 But before I get to that.  I have another Mr. Produce Guy story...no kidding. I think they are out to get me there!

So, the other day, I ventured into my favorite grocery store and meandered around the produce section and there he was.  Mr. Produce Guy stood near the broccoli and he wasn’t alone, there was another Mr. Produce Guy right next to him.

 He turned and saw me...I swear he whispered something to his friend who was unloading cauliflower since as I passed the tomatoes Mr. Produce Guy #2 whipped his head around and looked at me.

 Now, I’ve already noticed that Mr. PG#1 tries to avoid me.  He ends up everywhere I am not in three aisles that make up the produce section.  It’s like a game of hide and seek amongst the fresh, loose, packaged and organic vegetables. And true to form Mr. PG#1 hightailed it towards the potatoes.

I sauntered up to Mr. PG#2 since I was looking for fennel...but didn’t see any.  None...zilch...nada.... Here we go....

“Excuse me, uh...uhm...do you have any fennel?” I asked sheepishly

“We had some yesterday.” Mr. PG#2 said

“Ooohhh kaaaay.... well, that was yesterday and today is today?  So, got any?”  At that point...I’m already thinking about cutting to the chase and telling to get in the back and have a look...but I didn’t.

“Let me have a look.”  He said.

  Great idea I thought....phew....glad I did loose it on him.   This guy got the word from his buddy over there who was peering over the lemons and giggling.

 Any minute I was sure that Mr. PG#2 would head straight to the back for some fennel...so... I stood there and waited for him to scurry off.

 What was I thinking?

What Mr. PG#2 did was this...he rummaged around in the cauliflower and broccoli bins looking for fennel...I swear to you?!?

I stood there strangling my shopping cart handle and in my head saying “He must be having a laugh?  He’s doing this on purpose to me!” 

 I glanced over to see where Mr. PG#1 was and he quickly, moved about ten feet further and looked away avoiding all eye contact.

“Look, here you are Miss...”  Mr. PG#2 produced the saddest piece of fennel I have ever seen and a great big smile.  The fennel was actually so old it was turning into a biology experiment.... oozing brown liquid.

“You can’t be serious? Are you kidding me?  Look...its going bad.”

“Oh, that’s just dirt...see?”  And Mr. PG#2 tried to brush the dirt away within the plastic that surrounded the rancid fennel. 

Mr. PG#1 is now splitting a gut over by the organic section that he moved around to for a better view.

  I admit I finally lost it...right there in the produce section holding a piece of rotten fennel...

“LOOK.  THAT’S NOT DIRT.  DIRT...DIRT DOESN’T OOZE LIIQUID!  You’re not supposed to be able to stick your finger through the bulb. Like this.”  And I easily stuck my finger into the brown oozing “dirt”...  “This shouldn’t even be out on the shelves. It’s rotten...Now, do you or don’t’ you have any more.”

“I guess I’ll have to go and check.” 

“I guess you will and make it quick...I don’t have all bloody day.  And you need to chuck this one...it’s disgusting.” I shoved the fennel into his hand.

And off he scampered with Mr. PG#1 hot on his tails no doubt chirping in his ear something like.... See, what I mean... I told you...she’s THE one I keep telling you about. 

Well...I did get my fennel and some more strange looks from both the produce guys. 

Now I’m toying with the idea of kicking this little game up a notch.  I just might go in there as some point this weekend and ask for a chayote squash or mirliton – that’ll get them!