Stove Top Smoking 101 - How Not To Smoke A Mushroom

...Blah, Blich, Augh, Yuk, Wugh…

Question:  What do wet cigarettes and  smoked mushrooms have in common?

Answer:  Taste

While I never ate a wet cigarette, I did eat a smoked mushroom yesterday and I imagine it’s pretty much the same.   God it was awful, I could taste the damn mushrooms for hours after and I didn’t even eat that many, six to be exact…the first one I couldn’t wait to get in my gob…I was so excited, but after my first chomp…I winced.  It was so bitter.

 I couldn’t believe I actually screwed up THAT much, so I shoved a couple shitakes down my gullet…OHDEARGOD…that’s when the sound effects started…straight in the bin.

 What a disaster! Thank god I didn’t spend a small fortune on ingredients so the pain of chucking it all was nothing compared to lingering wet smoked dirt and wood taste that even a Listerine cocktail couldn’t remove…in fact that may have made it worse…disgusting.

I used too many wood chips.  The smell wafting through the house was lovely.  It was like my gas fireplace had turned into a wood-burning stove.  But a little too intense for my little fungi.  There’s no doubt that the lid did keep the smoke and flavor in… maybe too much.

Oh, I had such high hopes, but I did say yesterday I didn’t think it was going to be as easy as a couple of Emeril BAMS.

 I’m not about to give up yet.  I don’t believe it was the smokers’ fault, but the smokee’s fault.  I’m getting right back on that stove top smoker horse and try again…just not mushrooms (I may never be able to eat one again) and just not today…I think I’ll bake something nice and safe instead!